Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

Quote by George Carlin

Topics: George Carlin Quotes

I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will...

I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will...

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called...

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called...

What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?

What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?

The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind...

The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind...

Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony...

Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony...

Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticide grain, For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain....

Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticide grain, For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain....

Were having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, were...

Were having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, were...

When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I...

When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I...

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a...

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a...

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough...

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough...

The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You...

The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You...

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Always do whatever's next.

Always do whatever's next.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait...

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait...

If you think there's a solution, you're part of the problem

If you think there's a solution, you're part of the problem

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of...

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of...