Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony with that big hammer slams it on the head of the person who lost the most money that day.

Quote by George Carlin

Topics: Money Quotes

The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I...

The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I...

When someone is impatient and says, I haven't got all day, I always wonder, How...

When someone is impatient and says, I haven't got all day, I always wonder, How...

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is...

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is...

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out...

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out...

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more...

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more...

Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them...

Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them...

Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who...

Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who...

What are you going to do, play with your prick for another 20 to 30...

What are you going to do, play with your prick for another 20 to 30...

Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that...

Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that...

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it

When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I...

When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I...

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad...

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad...

If a man smiles all the time, he's probably selling something that doesn't work

If a man smiles all the time, he's probably selling something that doesn't work

Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who...

Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who...

Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience...

Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience...

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in...

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in...