Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony with that big hammer slams it on the head of the person who lost the most money that day.

Quote by George Carlin

Topics: Money Quotes

If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone...

If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone...

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to...

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to...

I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.

I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.

One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.

One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone...

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone...

If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.

If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.

Weather forecast for tonight: dark.

Weather forecast for tonight: dark.

People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people...

People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people...

Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told...

Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told...

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait...

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait...

Think off-center.

Think off-center.

If a man smiles all the time, he's probably selling something that doesn't work

If a man smiles all the time, he's probably selling something that doesn't work

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

When I got out of high school they retired my jersey, but it was for...

When I got out of high school they retired my jersey, but it was for...

Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony...

Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony...

The biggest trading partner of the United States is not West Germany or Japan, it's...

The biggest trading partner of the United States is not West Germany or Japan, it's...

Trade knows neither friends or kindred

Trade knows neither friends or kindred

The merchant has no country

The merchant has no country