Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony with that big hammer slams it on the head of the person who lost the most money that day.

Quote by George Carlin

Topics: Money Quotes

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.

I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly...

I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly...

When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I...

When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I...

I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good...

I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good...

Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told...

Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told...

If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone...

If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone...

I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.

I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.

I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to...

I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to...

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is...

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is...

Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told...

Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told...

Religion is just mind control

Religion is just mind control

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

Baseball is the only major sport that appears backward in a mirror

Baseball is the only major sport that appears backward in a mirror

The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.

The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a...

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a...

Marry an orphan: you'll never have to spend boring holidays with the in-laws.

Marry an orphan: you'll never have to spend boring holidays with the in-laws.

If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.

If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.

The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I...

The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I...

Computers are magnificent tools for the realization of our dreams, but no machine can replace...

Computers are magnificent tools for the realization of our dreams, but no machine can replace...

You are not broken and you do not need to be fixed.

You are not broken and you do not need to be fixed.

People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an...

People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an...

We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once....

We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once....