Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony with that big hammer slams it on the head of the person who lost the most money that day.

Quote by George Carlin

Topics: Money Quotes

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things

The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You...

The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You...

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof...

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof...

When I got out of high school they retired my jersey, but it was for...

When I got out of high school they retired my jersey, but it was for...

Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice?'

Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice?'

Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticide grain, For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain....

Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticide grain, For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain....

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in...

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in...

When someone is impatient and says, I haven't got all day, I always wonder, How...

When someone is impatient and says, I haven't got all day, I always wonder, How...

I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will...

I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will...

Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony...

Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony...

One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.

One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a...

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a...

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough...

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough...

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider...

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider...

Weather forecast for tonight: dark.

Weather forecast for tonight: dark.

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters...

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters...

The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind...

The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind...

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it

Making music to me is so much more important than being a star. If I...

Making music to me is so much more important than being a star. If I...

I never loved another person the way I loved myself.

I never loved another person the way I loved myself.