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The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of...

The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of...

There are never enough I Love You's.

There are never enough I Love You's.

When you're eight years old nothing is your business.

When you're eight years old nothing is your business.

All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil,...

All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil,...

The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake...

The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake...

Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a...

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Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a...

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

The what should be never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to...

The what should be never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to...

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.

I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.

If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will...

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will...

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

,

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

,

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...