The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.

Quote by Lenny Bruce

Topics: Lenny Bruce Quotes

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

When you're eight years old nothing is your business.

When you're eight years old nothing is your business.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will...

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will...

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

Communism is like one big phone company.

Communism is like one big phone company.

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

There are never enough I Love You's.

There are never enough I Love You's.

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.

I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.

Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a...

Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a...

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

The what should be never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to...

The what should be never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to...