The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.

Quote by Lenny Bruce

Topics: Lenny Bruce Quotes

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

When you're eight years old nothing is your business.

When you're eight years old nothing is your business.

The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake...

The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake...

Communism is like one big phone company.

Communism is like one big phone company.

A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it...

A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it...

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a...

Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a...

There are never enough I Love You's.

There are never enough I Love You's.

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

The what should be never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to...

The what should be never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to...

I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.

I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.

Communism is like one big phone company.

Communism is like one big phone company.

All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil,...

All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil,...

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.