The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.

Quote by Lenny Bruce

Topics: Lenny Bruce Quotes

Communism is like one big phone company.

Communism is like one big phone company.

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

The what should be never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to...

The what should be never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to...

Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a...

Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a...

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

Communism is like one big phone company.

Communism is like one big phone company.

When you're eight years old nothing is your business.

When you're eight years old nothing is your business.

If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

There are never enough I Love You's.

There are never enough I Love You's.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.

I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it...

A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it...

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will...

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will...