The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.

Quote by Lenny Bruce

Topics: Lenny Bruce Quotes

All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil,...

All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil,...

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a...

Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a...

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

When you're eight years old nothing is your business.

When you're eight years old nothing is your business.

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will...

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will...

I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.

I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.

If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

Communism is inequality, but not as property is. Property is exploitation of the weak by...

Communism is inequality, but not as property is. Property is exploitation of the weak by...

I see in Communism the focus of the concentrated evil of our time.

I see in Communism the focus of the concentrated evil of our time.