The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.

Quote by Lenny Bruce

Topics: Lenny Bruce Quotes

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil,...

All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil,...

Communism is like one big phone company.

Communism is like one big phone company.

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it...

A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it...

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will...

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will...

The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake...

The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake...

When you're eight years old nothing is your business.

When you're eight years old nothing is your business.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

There are never enough I Love You's.

There are never enough I Love You's.

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a...

Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a...

The what should be never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to...

The what should be never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to...

Communism is like one big phone company.

Communism is like one big phone company.

If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...