All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil, without disease and violence, I'd be standing on the breadline right in back of J. Edgar Hoover.

Quote by Lenny Bruce

Topics: Humor Quotes

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake...

The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake...

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

There are never enough I Love You's.

There are never enough I Love You's.

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

The what should be never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to...

The what should be never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to...

The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of...

The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of...

I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.

I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

Communism is like one big phone company.

Communism is like one big phone company.

If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

Communism is the corruption of a dream of justice.

Communism is the corruption of a dream of justice.

It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit...

It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit...

I also believe that academic freedom should protect the right of a professor or student...

I also believe that academic freedom should protect the right of a professor or student...