All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil, without disease and violence, I'd be standing on the breadline right in back of J. Edgar Hoover.

Quote by Lenny Bruce

Topics: Humor Quotes

The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake...

The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake...

A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it...

A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it...

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

Communism is like one big phone company.

Communism is like one big phone company.

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

The what should be never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to...

The what should be never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to...

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.

I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will...

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will...

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

When you're eight years old nothing is your business.

When you're eight years old nothing is your business.

If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of...

The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of...

There are never enough I Love You's.

There are never enough I Love You's.