The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

Quote by Lenny Bruce

Topics: Lenny Bruce Quotes

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

When you're eight years old nothing is your business.

When you're eight years old nothing is your business.

I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.

I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of...

The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of...

Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a...

Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a...

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

There are never enough I Love You's.

There are never enough I Love You's.

The what should be never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to...

The what should be never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to...

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake...

The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake...

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil,...

All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil,...

There are very few good judges of humor, and they don't agree.

There are very few good judges of humor, and they don't agree.

Robert Walker as Bruno was excellent. He had elegance and humor, and the proper fondness...

Robert Walker as Bruno was excellent. He had elegance and humor, and the proper fondness...

The three ingredients of a successful union between two . . . humor, commitment &...

The three ingredients of a successful union between two . . . humor, commitment &...