The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake three laughs in an hour -- ha ha ha ha ha -- they'll take you away, man. You can't.

Quote by Lenny Bruce

Topics: Laughter Quotes

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

Communism is like one big phone company.

Communism is like one big phone company.

Communism is like one big phone company.

Communism is like one big phone company.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it...

A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it...

Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a...

Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a...

I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.

I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.

When you're eight years old nothing is your business.

When you're eight years old nothing is your business.

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

Religions are all alike -- founded upon fables and mythologies

Religions are all alike -- founded upon fables and mythologies

Against them make ready your strength to the utmost of your power, including steeds of...

Against them make ready your strength to the utmost of your power, including steeds of...