Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time...they're gone.

Quote by Lenny Bruce

Topics: Cats Quotes, Funny Quotes, Women Quotes

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil,...

All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil,...

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

There are never enough I Love You's.

There are never enough I Love You's.

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will...

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will...

Communism is like one big phone company.

Communism is like one big phone company.

When you're eight years old nothing is your business.

When you're eight years old nothing is your business.

Communism is like one big phone company.

Communism is like one big phone company.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of...

The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of...

A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it...

A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it...

The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake...

The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake...

If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.

I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.