Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time...they're gone.

Quote by Lenny Bruce

Topics: Cats Quotes, Funny Quotes, Women Quotes

All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil,...

All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil,...

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will...

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will...

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of...

The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of...

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

Communism is like one big phone company.

Communism is like one big phone company.

There are never enough I Love You's.

There are never enough I Love You's.

I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.

I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.

When you're eight years old nothing is your business.

When you're eight years old nothing is your business.

The what should be never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to...

The what should be never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to...

If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it...

A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it...

The crisis in black America is threefold...economic...political...and spiritual.

The crisis in black America is threefold...economic...political...and spiritual.

The American idea is a free church in a free state, and a free and...

The American idea is a free church in a free state, and a free and...

Don't focus on your problems, there is no solution. Focus on God, He is the...

Don't focus on your problems, there is no solution. Focus on God, He is the...