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I was very fortunate to hook up with Jerry in the first place. The network...

I was very fortunate to hook up with Jerry in the first place. The network...

I'm a walking, talking enigma.

I'm a walking, talking enigma.

I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. I just feed off the energy of...

I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. I just feed off the energy of...

I don't think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It's not...

I don't think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It's not...

I guess I still feel that I'm a comedian; if I had to pick one...

I guess I still feel that I'm a comedian; if I had to pick one...

I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.

I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.

I just feed off the energy of the audience.

I just feed off the energy of the audience.

I just wanted laughs - that's really what I was after.

I just wanted laughs - that's really what I was after.

I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish.

I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish.

I tell people that I've now done one decent thing in my life. Albeit inadvertently.

I tell people that I've now done one decent thing in my life. Albeit inadvertently.

I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become...

I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become...

I wanted to make a living, but I really was not interested in money at...

I wanted to make a living, but I really was not interested in money at...

I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good...

I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good...

Even back then, I exuded self-confidence, and that drives women crazy.

Even back then, I exuded self-confidence, and that drives women crazy.

Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today, it rankles me that...

Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today, it rankles me that...

Every relationship is just so tenuous and precarious.

Every relationship is just so tenuous and precarious.

Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to...

Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to...

Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that...

Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that...