I tell people that I've now done one decent thing in my life. Albeit inadvertently.

Quote by Larry David

Topics: Larry David Quotes

I don't think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It's not...

I don't think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It's not...

Even back then, I exuded self-confidence, and that drives women crazy.

Even back then, I exuded self-confidence, and that drives women crazy.

In those days, reserve duty lasted for six years, which, I might add, was three...

In those days, reserve duty lasted for six years, which, I might add, was three...

I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.

I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.

Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go, but I'm very casual about...

Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go, but I'm very casual about...

I've led this empty life for over forty years and now I can pass that...

I've led this empty life for over forty years and now I can pass that...

It has to do - I think - with growing up in an apartment, with...

It has to do - I think - with growing up in an apartment, with...

Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that...

Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that...

I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good...

I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good...

You write about what you know.

You write about what you know.

I couldn't be happier that President Bush has stood up for having served in the...

I couldn't be happier that President Bush has stood up for having served in the...

Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to...

Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to...

When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name,...

When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name,...

Drugs scared me.

Drugs scared me.

Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today, it rankles me that...

Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today, it rankles me that...

I just feed off the energy of the audience.

I just feed off the energy of the audience.

Well, as you know, I'm really only happy when I'm on stage.

Well, as you know, I'm really only happy when I'm on stage.

I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. I just feed off the energy of...

I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. I just feed off the energy of...

Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.

Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.

I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become...

I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become...