I tell people that I've now done one decent thing in my life. Albeit inadvertently.

Quote by Larry David

Topics: Larry David Quotes

I just wanted laughs - that's really what I was after.

I just wanted laughs - that's really what I was after.

It's that I wasn't suited to do the kind of comedy that these people were...

It's that I wasn't suited to do the kind of comedy that these people were...

At first, I didn't realize it was gonna be a character. I just thought I...

At first, I didn't realize it was gonna be a character. I just thought I...

Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today, it rankles me that...

Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today, it rankles me that...

I was very fortunate to hook up with Jerry in the first place. The network...

I was very fortunate to hook up with Jerry in the first place. The network...

I just feed off the energy of the audience.

I just feed off the energy of the audience.

There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally...

There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally...

And eventually as I kept writing it, something emerged that was not quite me but...

And eventually as I kept writing it, something emerged that was not quite me but...

I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.

I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.

Sure, being a reservist wasn't as glamorous, but I was the one who had to...

Sure, being a reservist wasn't as glamorous, but I was the one who had to...

I guess I still feel that I'm a comedian; if I had to pick one...

I guess I still feel that I'm a comedian; if I had to pick one...

Drugs scared me.

Drugs scared me.

Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to...

Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to...

If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny.

If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny.

In those days, reserve duty lasted for six years, which, I might add, was three...

In those days, reserve duty lasted for six years, which, I might add, was three...

I'm a walking, talking enigma.

I'm a walking, talking enigma.

It has to do - I think - with growing up in an apartment, with...

It has to do - I think - with growing up in an apartment, with...

Every relationship is just so tenuous and precarious.

Every relationship is just so tenuous and precarious.

It began to dawn on me that perhaps my country needed me more at home...

It began to dawn on me that perhaps my country needed me more at home...

Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.

Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.