Quotes by Jay London

It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.

#Funny

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.

#Funny

Did you know that today will never be tomorrow.

#Jay London

At Motel 6 in Amish Country I wonder if they leave the light on for...

#Jay London

After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we...

#Jay London

A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock.

#Jay London

A guy gave me a job at an information booth - no questions asked.

#Jay London

My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.

#Jay London

My boss told me to get my butt in gear. I told him I was...

#Jay London

I'm on performance enhancing drugs, so I may cause drowsiness.

#Jay London

I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they...

#Jay London

I went to the store and bought lady fingers, when I got home I noticed...

#Jay London