A guy gave me a job at an information booth - no questions asked.

Quote by Jay London

Topics: Jay London Quotes

I went to the store and bought lady fingers, when I got home I noticed...

I went to the store and bought lady fingers, when I got home I noticed...

My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.

My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.

I went to a urologist - he told me I could go at any time.

I went to a urologist - he told me I could go at any time.

I was born nine months premature.

I was born nine months premature.

A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock.

A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock.

I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they...

I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they...

I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me.

I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me.

It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.

It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.

Did you know that today will never be tomorrow.

Did you know that today will never be tomorrow.

I wanted to join the Army the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be',...

I wanted to join the Army the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be',...

I saw a sign it said left lane closed so I went someplace else.

I saw a sign it said left lane closed so I went someplace else.

They asked me what I thought about euthanasia. I said I'm more concerned about the...

They asked me what I thought about euthanasia. I said I'm more concerned about the...

I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling...

I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling...

My girlfriend has crabs, I bought her fishnet stockings.

My girlfriend has crabs, I bought her fishnet stockings.

I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said...

I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said...

People read me but they don't subscribe.

People read me but they don't subscribe.

After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we...

After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we...

My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese.

My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese.

Do you know it was a year a ago today?

Do you know it was a year a ago today?

I once dated a weather girl, we talked up a storm.

I once dated a weather girl, we talked up a storm.