I went to the store and bought lady fingers, when I got home I noticed one of the fingers was missing so I went back to the store and the manager was nice enough to give me the finger.

Quote by Jay London

Topics: Jay London Quotes

People read me but they don't subscribe.

People read me but they don't subscribe.

I was born nine months premature.

I was born nine months premature.

They asked me what I thought about euthanasia. I said I'm more concerned about the...

They asked me what I thought about euthanasia. I said I'm more concerned about the...

Do you know it was a year a ago today?

Do you know it was a year a ago today?

I saw a stationery store move.

I saw a stationery store move.

At Motel 6 in Amish Country I wonder if they leave the light on for...

At Motel 6 in Amish Country I wonder if they leave the light on for...

I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me.

I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me.

A guy gave me a job at an information booth - no questions asked.

A guy gave me a job at an information booth - no questions asked.

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.

You know what burns me? Matches.

You know what burns me? Matches.

After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we...

After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we...

My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese.

My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese.

It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.

It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.

My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.

My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.

I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road.

I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road.

I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling...

I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling...

I went to a record store and asked for 50 cent. They kicked me out...

I went to a record store and asked for 50 cent. They kicked me out...

I saw a sign it said left lane closed so I went someplace else.

I saw a sign it said left lane closed so I went someplace else.

My boss told me to get my butt in gear. I told him I was...

My boss told me to get my butt in gear. I told him I was...

My girlfriend has crabs, I bought her fishnet stockings.

My girlfriend has crabs, I bought her fishnet stockings.