Quotes by Jay London

I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said...

#Jay London

I went to a urologist - he told me I could go at any time.

#Jay London

I went to a record store and asked for 50 cent. They kicked me out...

#Jay London

I went out with a promiscuous impressionist - she did everybody.

#Jay London

I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road.

#Jay London

I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling...

#Jay London

I was born nine months premature.

#Jay London

I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He...

#Jay London

I wanted to join the Army the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be',...

#Jay London

I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry...

#Jay London

I saw a stationery store move.

#Jay London

I saw a sign it said left lane closed so I went someplace else.

#Jay London