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If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest...

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest...

If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of...

If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of...

If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don't teach him...

If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don't teach him...

In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.

In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.

My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as...

My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as...

My favorite animal is steak.

My favorite animal is steak.

Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want...

Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want...

No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he...

No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he...

Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try.

Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try.

Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.

Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.

Humility is no substitute for a good personality.

Humility is no substitute for a good personality.

I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or...

I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or...

The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not...

The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not...

The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.

The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.

To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back...

To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back...

Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut...

Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut...

When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the...

When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the...

You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you...

You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you...