Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.

Quote by Fran Lebowitz

Topics: Fran Lebowitz Quotes

Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure...

Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure...

If you removed all of the homosexuals and homosexual influence from what is generally regarded...

If you removed all of the homosexuals and homosexual influence from what is generally regarded...

I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.

I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.

Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is...

Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is...

Humility is no substitute for a good personality.

Humility is no substitute for a good personality.

Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is...

Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is...

Love is an attachment to another self. Humor is a form of self-detachment - a...

Love is an attachment to another self. Humor is a form of self-detachment - a...

To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back...

To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back...

If you're going to America, bring your own food.

If you're going to America, bring your own food.

When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the...

When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the...

I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or...

I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or...

If you're going to America, bring your own food.

If you're going to America, bring your own food.

Nothing succeeds like address.

Nothing succeeds like address.

Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.

Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.

Special-interest publications should realize that if they are attracting enough advertising and readers to make...

Special-interest publications should realize that if they are attracting enough advertising and readers to make...

Scientists - the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like...

Scientists - the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like...

Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want...

Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want...

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.

The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not...

The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not...

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.