Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.

Quote by Fran Lebowitz

Topics: Fran Lebowitz Quotes

Nothing succeeds like address.

Nothing succeeds like address.

There are different kinds of love, but they all have the same aim: possession

There are different kinds of love, but they all have the same aim: possession

My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as...

My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as...

Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.

Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.

The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not...

The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not...

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will...

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will...

Inhabitants of underdeveloped nations and victims of natural disasters are the only people who have...

Inhabitants of underdeveloped nations and victims of natural disasters are the only people who have...

I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these...

I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these...

If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be...

If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be...

In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.

In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.

Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure...

Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure...

Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.

Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.

I must take issue with the term 'a mere child,' for it has been my...

I must take issue with the term 'a mere child,' for it has been my...

I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent...

I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent...

I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.

I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest...

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest...

Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when...

Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when...

Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house

Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house

Sunday: A day given over by Americans to wishing that they themselves were dead and...

Sunday: A day given over by Americans to wishing that they themselves were dead and...

Most politicians, when they meet with a guy like me, or a guy like Carville,...

Most politicians, when they meet with a guy like me, or a guy like Carville,...

I wish my microwave had a 'stealth mode' so the people I'm living with don't...

I wish my microwave had a 'stealth mode' so the people I'm living with don't...