If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

Quote by Fran Lebowitz

Topics: Fran Lebowitz Quotes

No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he...

No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he...

Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is...

Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is...

The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them...

The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them...

There are different kinds of love, but they all have the same aim: possession

There are different kinds of love, but they all have the same aim: possession

Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because...

Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because...

When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the...

When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the...

If you're going to America, bring your own food.

If you're going to America, bring your own food.

If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don't teach him...

If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don't teach him...

Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable disappointment when your...

Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable disappointment when your...

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.

Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.

In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.

In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.

Special-interest publications should realize that if they are attracting enough advertising and readers to make...

Special-interest publications should realize that if they are attracting enough advertising and readers to make...

Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want...

Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want...

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.

Food is an important part of a balanced diet.

Food is an important part of a balanced diet.

Nothing succeeds like address.

Nothing succeeds like address.

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will...

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will...

The biggest disease this day and age is that of people feeling unloved.

The biggest disease this day and age is that of people feeling unloved.

Just called the police on my girlfriend. She hasn't committed a crime, I just want...

Just called the police on my girlfriend. She hasn't committed a crime, I just want...

I wish my friends houses were connected to mine via secret tunnel.

I wish my friends houses were connected to mine via secret tunnel.