If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

Quote by Fran Lebowitz

Topics: Fran Lebowitz Quotes

The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.

The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.

My favorite animal is steak.

My favorite animal is steak.

Love is an attachment to another self. Humor is a form of self-detachment - a...

Love is an attachment to another self. Humor is a form of self-detachment - a...

There are different kinds of love, but they all have the same aim: possession

There are different kinds of love, but they all have the same aim: possession

Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.

Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will...

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will...

If you removed all of the homosexuals and homosexual influence from what is generally regarded...

If you removed all of the homosexuals and homosexual influence from what is generally regarded...

Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.

Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.

Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is...

Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is...

Polite conversation is rarely either.

Polite conversation is rarely either.

Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want...

Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want...

Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is...

Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is...

I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these...

I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these...

Inhabitants of underdeveloped nations and victims of natural disasters are the only people who have...

Inhabitants of underdeveloped nations and victims of natural disasters are the only people who have...

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about...

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about...

I must take issue with the term 'a mere child,' for it has been my...

I must take issue with the term 'a mere child,' for it has been my...

Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.

Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you...

You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you...

Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.

Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.