If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.

Quote by Fran Lebowitz

Topics: Fran Lebowitz Quotes

Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house

Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house

I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.

I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.

I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these...

I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these...

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will...

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will...

When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the...

When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the...

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.

Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.

Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut...

Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut...

My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as...

My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as...

Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure...

Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure...

Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when...

Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when...

Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is...

Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is...

Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because...

Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because...

Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women,...

Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women,...

Scientists - the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like...

Scientists - the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like...

Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to...

Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to...

You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you...

You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you...

Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want...

Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want...

I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you...

I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you...

Humility is no substitute for a good personality.

Humility is no substitute for a good personality.