You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

Quote by Bob Hope

Topics: Age Quotes, Funny Quotes

When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things -...

When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things -...

I'm so old they've canceled my blood type.

I'm so old they've canceled my blood type.

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.

I have to much money invested in sweaters.

I have to much money invested in sweaters.

I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

They'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood.

They'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood.

My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I...

My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I...

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you...

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you...

Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies

Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies

If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.

If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.

I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.

I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.

The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.

The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to...

At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to...

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of...

If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of...

Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.

Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.

The words of fire that from his pen Were flung upon the fervid page, Still...

The words of fire that from his pen Were flung upon the fervid page, Still...

The sign of a Philistine age is the cry of immorality against art.

The sign of a Philistine age is the cry of immorality against art.

Trying to sneak a fastball past Hank Aaron is like trying to sneak the sunrise...

Trying to sneak a fastball past Hank Aaron is like trying to sneak the sunrise...