I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance -waiting for the bathroom.

Quote by Bob Hope

Topics: Family Quotes, Funny Quotes

If I'm on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. If God wants...

If I'm on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. If God wants...

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for...

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for...

Zsa Zsa Gabor got married as a one-off, and it was so successful she turned...

Zsa Zsa Gabor got married as a one-off, and it was so successful she turned...

I thought 'Deep Throat' was a movie about a giraffe.

I thought 'Deep Throat' was a movie about a giraffe.

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the...

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the...

I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a...

I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a...

Isn't it fun to go out on the course and lie in the sun?

Isn't it fun to go out on the course and lie in the sun?

Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies

Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies

When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things -...

When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things -...

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you...

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you...

She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.

She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.

If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of...

If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of...

My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I...

My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I...

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money.

I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money.

Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.

Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.

Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.

Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.

Old age has a great sense of calm and freedom.

Old age has a great sense of calm and freedom.

Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age.

Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age.

Over the past 50 years Bob Hope employed 88 joke writers who supplied him with...

Over the past 50 years Bob Hope employed 88 joke writers who supplied him with...