Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.
Quote by Drew Carey
Hollywood people are filled with guilt: white guilt, liberal guilt, money guilt. They feel bad...
When I did Comic Relief, I did it to be on the show; it's a...
Liquor prohibition led to the rise of organized crime in America, and drug prohibition has...
The first Monopoly game I played with my brothers, I hated losing so much, I...
It isn`t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither
I don't care if my jokes are appropriate for a kid.
I don't miss the economic insecurity, the living paycheck to paycheck.
I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what...
As far as your personal goals are and what you actually want to do with...
You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither!
I'm competitive at everything.
Like I said, all comedy is based on exaggeration, big or small, whatever you can...
Vegas is everything that's right with America. You can do whatever you want, 24 hours...
There's no way I can justify my salary level, but I'm learning to live with...
I wanted to do a show based on what my life would be like if...
People laugh to forget their troubles, and to forget their troubles they like to look...
What also helps our show is that we never take ourselves seriously.
Everybody in Hollywood loves symbolic gestures.
When I play poker, I don't like losing the pot.