I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good Amercian because I like to form my own opionions.

Quote by George Carlin

Topics: Libraries Quotes

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to...

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to...

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.

When someone is impatient and says, I haven't got all day, I always wonder, How...

When someone is impatient and says, I haven't got all day, I always wonder, How...

Always do whatever's next.

Always do whatever's next.

I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will...

I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will...

The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is

The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is

If you think there's a solution, you're part of the problem

If you think there's a solution, you're part of the problem

I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to...

I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to...

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a...

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a...

I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that...

I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that...

Baseball is the only major sport that appears backward in a mirror

Baseball is the only major sport that appears backward in a mirror

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice?'

Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice?'

Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that...

Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that...

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone...

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone...

If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone...

If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone...

Atheism is a non-prophet organization

Atheism is a non-prophet organization

Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony...

Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony...

Trade knows neither friends or kindred

Trade knows neither friends or kindred

We want consumers to say, 'That's a hell of a product' instead of, 'That's a...

We want consumers to say, 'That's a hell of a product' instead of, 'That's a...