Never wear anything that panics the cat.

Quote by P J O'Rourke

Topics: Funny Quotes

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage...

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage...

When a couple decide to divorce, they should inform both sets of parents before having...

When a couple decide to divorce, they should inform both sets of parents before having...

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief...

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief...

Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores...

Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores...

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief...

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief...

If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.

If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.

Never wear anything that panics the cat.

Never wear anything that panics the cat.

There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.

Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.

If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.

If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and...

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and...

Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.

Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and...

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and...

A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative....

A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative....

Social Security is a government program with a constituency made up of the old, the...

Social Security is a government program with a constituency made up of the old, the...

If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health,...

If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health,...

The beast of the field shall honour me, the dragons and the owls: because I...

The beast of the field shall honour me, the dragons and the owls: because I...

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out...

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out...

And when these lepers came to the uttermost part of the camp, they went into...

And when these lepers came to the uttermost part of the camp, they went into...