There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you
Quote by Will Rogers
If you can build a business up big enough, it's respectable.
Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.
If the other fellow sells cheaper than you, it is called dumping. 'Course, if you...
Strangers are just friends I haven't met yet.
Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you...
The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except...
One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide.
Politics ain't worrying this country one-tenth as much as where to find a parking space
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
Never let yesterday use up too much of today.
Lord, the money we do spend on Government and it's not one bit better than...
The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.
I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.
Many only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with...
We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and...
I have a scheme for stopping war. It's this - no nation is allowed to...
People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.
All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi...
My country has contrived for me the most insignificant office that ever the invention of...
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making...