Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I...
I have enjoyed greatly the second blooming that comes when you finish the life of...
I enjoy life. I think I'll enjoy death even more.
Dear Santa, ( ) I've been good all year. ( ) Ok most of the...
I'm not really a good singer. But most people aren't, either.
What luck for the rulers that men do not think.
I always wait for the Times each morning. I look at the obituary column and...
This is the curse of our age, that even the strangest aberrations are no cure...
I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the...
Ability may get you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there.
Janet Jackson's 'wardrobe malfunction' cost CBS Five hundred and Fifty grand this week. Boy, what...
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
Afterism (n) - A concise, clever statement you don't think of until too late.
They speak of my drinking, but never think of my thirst.
The latest refinements of science are linked with the cruelties of the Stone Age.
Your body is the baggage you must carry through life. The more excess the baggage,...
There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for...
Ive come to the conclusion that Mondays last 50% longer than the other days...each.
I am about to go Tebow on my Monday.