Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.

Quote by George Burns

Topics: Age Quotes

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember...

Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember...

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy...

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy...

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything...

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything...

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what...

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what...

Its hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when...

Its hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when...

You've got to be honest; if you can fake that, you've got it made.

You've got to be honest; if you can fake that, you've got it made.

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running...

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running...

When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my...

When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my...

By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember...

By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember...

If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and...

If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and...

I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides,...

I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides,...

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of...

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of...

Be quick to learn and wise to know.

Be quick to learn and wise to know.

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only...

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only...