If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

Quote by Lenny Bruce

Topics: Lenny Bruce Quotes

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a...

Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a...

A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it...

A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it...

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

Communism is like one big phone company.

Communism is like one big phone company.

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

When you're eight years old nothing is your business.

When you're eight years old nothing is your business.

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

There are never enough I Love You's.

There are never enough I Love You's.

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will...

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will...

I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.

I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake...

The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake...

Not by wrath, but by laughter, do we kill. Come, let us kill the spirit...

Not by wrath, but by laughter, do we kill. Come, let us kill the spirit...

To awaken each morning with a smile brightening my face; to greet the day with...

To awaken each morning with a smile brightening my face; to greet the day with...

Laughter is nothing else but sudden glory arising from some sudden conception of some eminency...

Laughter is nothing else but sudden glory arising from some sudden conception of some eminency...