The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand.

Quote by Fred Allen

Topics: Fred Allen Quotes

A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the...

A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the...

Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.

Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.

Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on...

The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on...

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

He writes so well he makes me feel like putting the quill back in the...

He writes so well he makes me feel like putting the quill back in the...

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood and place it in the navel of...

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood and place it in the navel of...

All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is...

All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is...

Television is the triumph of machine over people.

Television is the triumph of machine over people.

Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people...

Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people...

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and...

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and...

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you...

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you...

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Television is a triumph of equipment over people and the minds that control it are...

Television is a triumph of equipment over people and the minds that control it are...

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood and place it in the navel of...

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood and place it in the navel of...

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.

We Americans have always considered Hollywood, at best, a sinkhole of depraved venality. And, of...

We Americans have always considered Hollywood, at best, a sinkhole of depraved venality. And, of...