The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand.

Quote by Fred Allen

Topics: Fred Allen Quotes

Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people...

Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people...

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and...

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and...

Television is called a medium because anything good on it is rare.

Television is called a medium because anything good on it is rare.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood and place it in the navel of...

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood and place it in the navel of...

We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian...

We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian...

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.

I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement.

I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement.

Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.

Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.

It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually...

It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually...

An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.

An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.

Television is a triumph of equipment over people and the minds that control it are...

Television is a triumph of equipment over people and the minds that control it are...

The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.

The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a...

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a...

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually...

It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually...

Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of...

Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of...

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

For, Heaven be thank'd, we live in such an age, when no man dies for...

For, Heaven be thank'd, we live in such an age, when no man dies for...

The trouble with children is that they are not returnable.

The trouble with children is that they are not returnable.