The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

Quote by Fred Allen

Topics: Fred Allen Quotes

I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.

I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.

All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is...

All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is...

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just...

Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just...

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the...

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the...

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and...

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and...

Television is the triumph of machine over people.

Television is the triumph of machine over people.

Television is a triumph of equipment over people and the minds that control it are...

Television is a triumph of equipment over people and the minds that control it are...

Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group...

Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group...

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.

Television is called a medium because anything good on it is rare

Television is called a medium because anything good on it is rare

It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually...

It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually...

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and - I can't remember what...

I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and - I can't remember what...

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the...

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the...

We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian...

We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian...

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the...

A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the...

An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.

An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you...

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you...