The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

Quote by Fred Allen

Topics: Fred Allen Quotes

California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.

California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a...

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a...

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if...

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if...

We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian...

We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian...

I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.

I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.

Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of...

Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of...

Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too...

Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too...

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.

Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.

Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.

The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own...

The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own...

An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy...

An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy...

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you...

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you...

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a...

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a...

I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when...

I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when...

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and...

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and...

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the...

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the...

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.

The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.