Successful colleges will start laying plans for a new stadium; unsuccessful ones will start hunting a new coach
Quote by Will Rogers
Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till...
The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.
It's a fine motion picture up to the point where God finishes and the script...
My own mother died when I was 10 years old. My folks have told me...
I never lack material for my humor column when Congress is in session.
For the American people are a very generous people and will forgive almost any weakness,...
The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer.
Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time...
The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is...
Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due.
Politicians can do more funny things naturally than I can think of to do purposely
A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.
Politics ain't worrying this country one-tenth as much as where to find a parking space
In a real estate man's eye, the most expensive part of the city is where...
I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.
The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that...
Rarely promise, but, if lawful, constantly perform
The portion of a law usually found unconstitutional is the teeth