Britain has invented a new missile. It's called the civil servant - it doesn't work and it can't be fired.

Quote by Walter Walker

Topics: Funny Quotes, Government Quotes

The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep...

The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep...

Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman.

Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman.

No man but a blockhead ever wrote, except for money.

No man but a blockhead ever wrote, except for money.

He who laughs last laughs longest

He who laughs last laughs longest

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.

Men and women approaching retirement age should be recycled for public service work, and their...

Men and women approaching retirement age should be recycled for public service work, and their...

Nothing recedes like success.

Nothing recedes like success.

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I...

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I...

I'd luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair.

I'd luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair.

Were having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, were...

Were having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, were...

Why does a person even get up in the morning? You have breakfast, you floss...

Why does a person even get up in the morning? You have breakfast, you floss...

Some of the dirtiest dogs, past and present, had mothers.

Some of the dirtiest dogs, past and present, had mothers.

Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.

I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.

The lovely thing about being 40 is that you can appreciate 25 year old men...

The lovely thing about being 40 is that you can appreciate 25 year old men...

Sometimes when my internet is down I forget the rest of my computer still works....

Sometimes when my internet is down I forget the rest of my computer still works....

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it.

A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it.

I think we have more machinery of government than is necessary, too many parasites living...

I think we have more machinery of government than is necessary, too many parasites living...

The government will fall that raises the price of beer.

The government will fall that raises the price of beer.