Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.
Quote by Johnny Carson
Johnny Carson Quotes
Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas.
For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.
In Hollywood if you don't have a shrink, people think you're crazy.
If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most unsolved.
Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing,...
People will pay more to be entertained than educated.
Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his...
The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.
My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
If variety if the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam
If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen...
We're more effective than birth control pills.
Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they...
Happiness is sitting down to watch slides of your neighbor's vacation and finding out he...
Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow...
The liberty of a democracy is not safe if the people tolerate the growth of...
The motive power of democracy is love
I don't have any formula for ousting a dictator or building democracy. All I can...