If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
Quote by Johnny Carson
Happiness is sitting down to watch slides of your neighbor's vacation and finding out he...
The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.
New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most unsolved.
In Hollywood if you don't have a shrink, people think you're crazy.
I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and...
For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.
The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives...
People will pay more to be entertained than educated.
Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas.
If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing...
Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they...
I know you've been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous....
Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at...
If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
If variety if the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam
I'm just afraid I'm gonna miss it all... being married... being a mother.
Marriage is a journey that leads you to deserts, tropical islands, and Alaskan cruises. The...
Most men find it difficult to remain true to a single woman, but relatively easy...