We're more effective than birth control pills.
Quote by Johnny Carson
I know you've been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous....
I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and...
For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.
The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives...
If variety if the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam
Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his...
Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing,...
New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most unsolved.
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas.
Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing...
Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has...
For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper...
If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow...
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was...
Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.
If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
People will pay more to be entertained than educated.