Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.

Quote by Johnny Carson

Topics: Democracy Quotes

If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has...

Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has...

Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they...

Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they...

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his...

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his...

People will pay more to be entertained than educated.

People will pay more to be entertained than educated.

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and...

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and...

Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing,...

Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing,...

The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money

The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money

The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives...

The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives...

I know you've been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous....

I know you've been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous....

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his...

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his...

If variety if the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam

If variety if the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his...

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his...

My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.

My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives...

The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives...

In Hollywood if you don't have a shrink, people think you're crazy.

In Hollywood if you don't have a shrink, people think you're crazy.

Hollywood is loneliness beside the swimming pool.

Hollywood is loneliness beside the swimming pool.

In Hollywood, the women are all peaches. It makes one long for an apple occasionally.

In Hollywood, the women are all peaches. It makes one long for an apple occasionally.

If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology.

If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology.

I think we're losing our sense of humor instead of being able to relax and...

I think we're losing our sense of humor instead of being able to relax and...

When David [Arquette] and I got engaged we started therapy together. I'd heard that the...

When David [Arquette] and I got engaged we started therapy together. I'd heard that the...