The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.
Quote by Johnny Carson
I know you've been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous....
The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money
We're more effective than birth control pills.
Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing,...
Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at...
My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.
Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his...
Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow...
If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most unsolved.
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was...
The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives...
If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and...
Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they...
If variety if the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam
Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas.
Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.
People will pay more to be entertained than educated.
For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.