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Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.

Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was...

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was...

Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they...

Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they...

The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.

The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and...

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and...

People will pay more to be entertained than educated.

People will pay more to be entertained than educated.

The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money

The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper...

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper...

Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has...

Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has...

Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at...

Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at...

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen...

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen...

I know you've been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous....

I know you've been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous....

Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow...

Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow...

Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas.

My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.

My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.

Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Dear Santa, Please send your credit card numbers. its only fair since youre getting the...

Dear Santa, Please send your credit card numbers. its only fair since youre getting the...

This year, I'm going to buy all of my Christmas gifts from Nike...Made for kids...

This year, I'm going to buy all of my Christmas gifts from Nike...Made for kids...

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad...

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad...