My wife is going to kill me. But you look like my wife, so that's Ok!

Quote by Jay Leno

Topics: Funny Quotes, Women Quotes

New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back...

New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back...

The Bush administration said today there is a lot of support for us to attack...

The Bush administration said today there is a lot of support for us to attack...

For the first time in history, sex is more dangerous than the cigarette afterward.

For the first time in history, sex is more dangerous than the cigarette afterward.

Bob Dole revealed he is one of the test subjects for Viagra. He said on...

Bob Dole revealed he is one of the test subjects for Viagra. He said on...

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue...

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue...

Scientists are complaining that the new Dinosaur movie shows dinosaurs with lemurs, who didn't evolve...

Scientists are complaining that the new Dinosaur movie shows dinosaurs with lemurs, who didn't evolve...

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour...

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour...

Bush said today he is being stalked. He said wherever he goes, people are following...

Bush said today he is being stalked. He said wherever he goes, people are following...

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make...

For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make...

Politics is just show business for ugly people

Politics is just show business for ugly people

I think high self-esteem is overrated. A little low self-esteem is actually quite good. Maybe...

I think high self-esteem is overrated. A little low self-esteem is actually quite good. Maybe...

President Bush is taking the entire month of August off. Bush said today he thinks...

President Bush is taking the entire month of August off. Bush said today he thinks...

CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her...

CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her...

If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.

If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.

Go through your phone book, call people and ask them to drive you to the...

Go through your phone book, call people and ask them to drive you to the...

Isn't it a little ironic here? We pick politicians by how they look on TV...

Isn't it a little ironic here? We pick politicians by how they look on TV...

Al Jazeera aired a new tape of Osama bin Laden. It was the usual stuff,...

Al Jazeera aired a new tape of Osama bin Laden. It was the usual stuff,...

Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors.

Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors.

More coming out about Saddam Hussein. We now know he takes Viagra and he has...

More coming out about Saddam Hussein. We now know he takes Viagra and he has...