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If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.

If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour...

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour...

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of LA in the next election....

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of LA in the next election....

More coming out about Saddam Hussein. We now know he takes Viagra and he has...

More coming out about Saddam Hussein. We now know he takes Viagra and he has...

Nineteen percent of doctors say that they'd be able to give their patients a lethal...

Nineteen percent of doctors say that they'd be able to give their patients a lethal...

Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors.

Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors.

For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make...

For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make...

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins...

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins...

I think high self-esteem is overrated. A little low self-esteem is actually quite good. Maybe...

I think high self-esteem is overrated. A little low self-esteem is actually quite good. Maybe...

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, I'd like some fries. The girl at...

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, I'd like some fries. The girl at...

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue...

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue...

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that...

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that...

The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect...

The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect...

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C....

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C....

The Washington Bullets are changing their name. They don't want their team to be associated...

The Washington Bullets are changing their name. They don't want their team to be associated...

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

You know what they should call this war - Son of Bush vs. Son of...

You know what they should call this war - Son of Bush vs. Son of...