The best time to look for a job is when you already have one. Men apply the same theory to looking for a girlfriend.

Topics: Clever Facebook Status Quotes, Facebook Quotes, Funny Quotes, Funny Facebook Status Quotes

Never on schedule, but always on time.

Never on schedule, but always on time.

Does anyone have that light switch in their house that they really don't know what...

Does anyone have that light switch in their house that they really don't know what...

I feel like getting something done today, so Im just going to sit here until...

I feel like getting something done today, so Im just going to sit here until...

Oxymoron: When an astronaut feels under the weather.

Oxymoron: When an astronaut feels under the weather.

To men, women are just city buses. There's another one every five minutes.

To men, women are just city buses. There's another one every five minutes.

I was complimented on my driving today. Someone left a note on my windshield that...

I was complimented on my driving today. Someone left a note on my windshield that...

I just dropped my laptop off the boat....It's a Dell, rolling in the deep.

I just dropped my laptop off the boat....It's a Dell, rolling in the deep.

My 'check engine' light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and...

My 'check engine' light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and...

I'm not clumsy. It's just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies...

I'm not clumsy. It's just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies...

Facebook should make it to where it says, 'Went from being in a relationship' to...

Facebook should make it to where it says, 'Went from being in a relationship' to...

Have you ever had a fly or small bug land on your computer screen and...

Have you ever had a fly or small bug land on your computer screen and...

Spent the entire night trying to create a website for women drivers, but it kept...

Spent the entire night trying to create a website for women drivers, but it kept...

Better late than never, but never late is better.

Better late than never, but never late is better.

It's a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny...

It's a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny...

Sometimes you have to make the right decision, and sometimes you have to make the...

Sometimes you have to make the right decision, and sometimes you have to make the...

I dont mind ketchup on my hot dog, as long as the bun is tight.

I dont mind ketchup on my hot dog, as long as the bun is tight.

I decided to cancel my Twitter account. I dont want to sound paranoid, but Im...

I decided to cancel my Twitter account. I dont want to sound paranoid, but Im...

Ending a facebook conversation by liking the last comment that was posted.

Ending a facebook conversation by liking the last comment that was posted.

I could be in another country but if someone is waiting on me and they...

I could be in another country but if someone is waiting on me and they...

Dear 5th grader, how are you in a complicated relationship on Facebook? What did they...

Dear 5th grader, how are you in a complicated relationship on Facebook? What did they...

I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.

I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.

Apple was considering making an iPod for kids but apparently, the name 'iTouch Kids' didn't...

Apple was considering making an iPod for kids but apparently, the name 'iTouch Kids' didn't...