The best time to look for a job is when you already have one. Men apply the same theory to looking for a girlfriend.

Topics: Clever Facebook Status Quotes, Facebook Quotes, Funny Quotes, Funny Facebook Status Quotes

I just dropped my laptop off the boat....It's a Dell, rolling in the deep.

I just dropped my laptop off the boat....It's a Dell, rolling in the deep.

Spent the entire night trying to create a website for women drivers, but it kept...

Spent the entire night trying to create a website for women drivers, but it kept...

Does anyone have that light switch in their house that they really don't know what...

Does anyone have that light switch in their house that they really don't know what...

I dont mind ketchup on my hot dog, as long as the bun is tight.

I dont mind ketchup on my hot dog, as long as the bun is tight.

My 'check engine' light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and...

My 'check engine' light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and...

Never on schedule, but always on time.

Never on schedule, but always on time.

I used to be good at sports. Then I realized that I could buy trophies....

I used to be good at sports. Then I realized that I could buy trophies....

To men, women are just city buses. There's another one every five minutes.

To men, women are just city buses. There's another one every five minutes.

I'm not clumsy. It's just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies...

I'm not clumsy. It's just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies...

I feel like getting something done today, so Im just going to sit here until...

I feel like getting something done today, so Im just going to sit here until...

When girls hack a friends Facebook account: 'I love you b*tch!' When boys hack a...

When girls hack a friends Facebook account: 'I love you b*tch!' When boys hack a...

If a person who drinks too much is an alcoholic, then is someone who never...

If a person who drinks too much is an alcoholic, then is someone who never...

Oxymoron: When an astronaut feels under the weather.

Oxymoron: When an astronaut feels under the weather.

Facebook should make it to where it says, 'Went from being in a relationship' to...

Facebook should make it to where it says, 'Went from being in a relationship' to...

It's a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny...

It's a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny...

Sometimes you have to make the right decision, and sometimes you have to make the...

Sometimes you have to make the right decision, and sometimes you have to make the...

I decided to cancel my Twitter account. I dont want to sound paranoid, but Im...

I decided to cancel my Twitter account. I dont want to sound paranoid, but Im...

I love it when someone's laugh is funnier than the joke.

I love it when someone's laugh is funnier than the joke.

Nothing makes me want a relationship to fail more than matching profile pictures.

The older the Facebook post, the creepier your 'Like' becomes.

The older the Facebook post, the creepier your 'Like' becomes.

The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is...

The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is...

Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed...

Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed...