Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.
Quote by Ogden Nash
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era...
People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
Every Englishman is convinced of one thing, viz.: That to be an Englishman is to...
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence
Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?
Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.
Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.
I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.
Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny -...
The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk.
Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as a legislature, Sleep is as...
Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you...
Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven...
Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone...
Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.
There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful, and who apparently feel that...
Nobody agrees with anybody else anyhow, but adults conceal it and infants show it
A lean agreement is better than a fat judgment
There is nothing more likely to start disagreement among people or countries than an agreement.