Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.

Quote by Ogden Nash

Topics: Birthday Quotes, Funny Quotes, Marriage Quotes

I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.

I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone...

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone...

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we...

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we...

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick...

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick...

People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they...

People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they...

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we...

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we...

Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet...

Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet...

The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.

The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.

Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.

Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit...

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit...

Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for.

Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for.

Hark to the whimper of the seagull. / He weeps because he's not an ea-gull....

Hark to the whimper of the seagull. / He weeps because he's not an ea-gull....

Your hair may be brushed, but your mind's untidy. You've had about seven hours of...

Your hair may be brushed, but your mind's untidy. You've had about seven hours of...

The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.

The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are...

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are...

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an...

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an...

If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so...

If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so...

An occasional lucky guess as to what makes a wife tick is the best a...

An occasional lucky guess as to what makes a wife tick is the best a...

I do not believe that the Good Lord plays dice.

I do not believe that the Good Lord plays dice.

You can't expect to be a lucky dog if you spend all your time growling

You can't expect to be a lucky dog if you spend all your time growling

To our shame a woman is never so much attached to us as when we...

To our shame a woman is never so much attached to us as when we...

All that a husband or wife really wants is to be pitied a little, praised...

All that a husband or wife really wants is to be pitied a little, praised...