Life's a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest.

Quote by Wilson Mizner

Topics: Wilson Mizner Quotes

I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.

I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.

Popularity is exhausting. The life of the party almost always winds up in a corner...

Popularity is exhausting. The life of the party almost always winds up in a corner...

There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.

There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.

A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to...

A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to...

I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.

I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.

The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock.

The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock.

The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.

The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.

In order to excel, you must be completely dedicated to your chosen sport. You must...

In order to excel, you must be completely dedicated to your chosen sport. You must...

Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.

Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.

Art is science made clear.

Art is science made clear.

If you steal from one author it's plagiarism; if you steal from many it's research.

If you steal from one author it's plagiarism; if you steal from many it's research.

The only time that most women give their orating husbands undivided attention is when the...

The only time that most women give their orating husbands undivided attention is when the...

In order to excel, you must be completely dedicated to your chosen sport. You must...

In order to excel, you must be completely dedicated to your chosen sport. You must...

Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way...

Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way...

Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.

Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.

I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the...

I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the...

To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.

To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.

Over in Hollywood they almost made a great picture, but they caught it in time.

Over in Hollywood they almost made a great picture, but they caught it in time.

Stop worrying. Hollywood wont turn your daughter into a nymphomaniac or get her hooked on...

Stop worrying. Hollywood wont turn your daughter into a nymphomaniac or get her hooked on...

Every now and then when your life gets complicated and the weasels start closing in,...

Every now and then when your life gets complicated and the weasels start closing in,...