A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions.

Quote by Wilson Mizner

Topics: Speech Quotes

I'd rather know a square guy than own a square mile.

I'd rather know a square guy than own a square mile.

Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.

Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.

Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.

Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.

I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your efforts to believe it

I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your efforts to believe it

Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way...

Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way...

If you count all your assets you always show a profit.

If you count all your assets you always show a profit.

When you take stuff from one writer it's plagiarism; but when you take it from...

When you take stuff from one writer it's plagiarism; but when you take it from...

I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.

I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.

The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.

The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.

A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.

A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.

A slave has but one master. An ambition man, has as many as there are...

A slave has but one master. An ambition man, has as many as there are...

It is not in life, but in art that self-fulfillment is to be found.

It is not in life, but in art that self-fulfillment is to be found.

All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is...

All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is...

In the battle of existence, Talent is the punch; Tact is the clever footwork.

In the battle of existence, Talent is the punch; Tact is the clever footwork.

The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.

The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.

You sparkle with larceny.

You sparkle with larceny.

The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind...

The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind...

The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears.

The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears.

Frigidity is desire imagined by a woman who doesn't desire the man offering himself to...

Frigidity is desire imagined by a woman who doesn't desire the man offering himself to...

I believe in the single standard for men and women.

I believe in the single standard for men and women.