Quotes by Bill Maher

Suicide is man's way of telling God, You can't fire me - I quit

#Fire, #Funny

Jim Bakker spells his name with two k's because three would be too obvious.

#Religion

The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs

#Religion

Men are only as loyal as their options

#Men And Women

Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen...

#Funny, #Government

Today is 'Take our Daughters to Work Day.' This is when girls ages Nine to...

#Funny, #Work

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex.

#Children, #Funny

To me a real patriot is like a real friend. Who's your real friend? It's...

#Friends

Janet Jackson's 'wardrobe malfunction' cost CBS Five hundred and Fifty grand this week. Boy, what...

#Funny, #Television

The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence...

#Intelligence

What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican congressmen do to the country.

#Women

If you were on a sinking ship and yelled, Women and children first! how much...

#Women