They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed.

Quote by Bill Maher

Topics: Bill Maher Quotes

Men are only as loyal as their options.

Men are only as loyal as their options.

Clinton left the White House with all the class of an XFL halftime show.

Clinton left the White House with all the class of an XFL halftime show.

Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make...

Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make...

I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is...

I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is...

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

I was watching Ashlee Simpson on Jay's show last night... She was really singing, and...

I was watching Ashlee Simpson on Jay's show last night... She was really singing, and...

When we talk about values, I think of rationality in solving problems. Thats something I...

When we talk about values, I think of rationality in solving problems. Thats something I...

The jury could get the case as early as next week, but the defense says...

The jury could get the case as early as next week, but the defense says...

I think religion is bad and drugs are good.

I think religion is bad and drugs are good.

And to answer the question that people have about this conspiracy theory that he has...

And to answer the question that people have about this conspiracy theory that he has...

Fame has sent a number of celebrities off the deep end, and in the case...

Fame has sent a number of celebrities off the deep end, and in the case...

Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he...

Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he...

NEW RULE: 'Kidiots' Leave the children behind. At least until they learn something. A new...

NEW RULE: 'Kidiots' Leave the children behind. At least until they learn something. A new...

The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs.

The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs.

If you think you have it tough, read history books.

If you think you have it tough, read history books.

NEW RULE: 'Kidiots' Leave the children behind. At least until they learn something. A new...

NEW RULE: 'Kidiots' Leave the children behind. At least until they learn something. A new...

When we make mistakes they call it evil

When we make mistakes they call it evil

A lot of good has come from drugs. I think 'Penny Lane' is worth 10...

A lot of good has come from drugs. I think 'Penny Lane' is worth 10...

I never thought I'd say this, what Obama needs in his personality is a little...

I never thought I'd say this, what Obama needs in his personality is a little...

I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.

I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.