A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Quote by Jerry Seinfeld

Topics: Babies Quotes, Children Quotes

That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me

That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they...

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they...

The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to...

The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to...

I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as...

I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as...

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.

I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.

I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.

The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to...

The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to...

My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the...

My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the...

According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death....

According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death....

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as...

I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as...

My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the...

My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the...

Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace...

Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace...

Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I...

Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I...

That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.

That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's...

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's...

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing....

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing....