It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Death Quotes

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.

Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.

It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars...

It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars...

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

Eternity is really long, especially near the end

Eternity is really long, especially near the end

The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.

The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.

I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my...

I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my...

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Pamela Andersons fingertips.

If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Pamela Andersons fingertips.

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

Not a single time have we gotten a right from Congress or from the President....

Not a single time have we gotten a right from Congress or from the President....

Today I love myself as I love my god: who could charge me with a...

Today I love myself as I love my god: who could charge me with a...