Its hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

Quote by George Burns

Topics: Dirty Quotes, Funny Quotes

The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you've got...

The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you've got...

How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days.

How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days.

When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my...

When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my...

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

How can I die? I'm booked.

How can I die? I'm booked.

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember...

Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember...

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running...

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running...

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die...

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die...

Be quick to learn and wise to know.

Be quick to learn and wise to know.

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what...

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what...

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of...

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of...

Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and...

If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and...

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper...

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper...

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than...

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than...

I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides,...

I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides,...

It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.

It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.