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I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what...

I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what...

Even when people are rich and successful on TV shows, there's always some trouble -...

Even when people are rich and successful on TV shows, there's always some trouble -...

Nevada's one of the most conservative states in the Union, but you can do what...

Nevada's one of the most conservative states in the Union, but you can do what...

The first Monopoly game I played with my brothers, I hated losing so much, I...

The first Monopoly game I played with my brothers, I hated losing so much, I...

Liquor prohibition led to the rise of organized crime in America, and drug prohibition has...

Liquor prohibition led to the rise of organized crime in America, and drug prohibition has...

When the show's in production, we work for three weeks at a time and then...

When the show's in production, we work for three weeks at a time and then...

Some people don't like competition because it makes them work harder, better.

Some people don't like competition because it makes them work harder, better.

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for...

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for...

Nothing's funny about someone who's successful.

Nothing's funny about someone who's successful.

Everybody in Hollywood loves symbolic gestures.

Everybody in Hollywood loves symbolic gestures.

I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what...

I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what...

I'm not against ratings per se. I think more information is always good. But I...

I'm not against ratings per se. I think more information is always good. But I...

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither

But I don't want to lose touch with things like eating in Bob's Big Boy.

But I don't want to lose touch with things like eating in Bob's Big Boy.

I don't miss the economic insecurity, the living paycheck to paycheck.

I don't miss the economic insecurity, the living paycheck to paycheck.

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for...

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for...

Hollywood people are filled with guilt: white guilt, liberal guilt, money guilt. They feel bad...

Hollywood people are filled with guilt: white guilt, liberal guilt, money guilt. They feel bad...

It isn`t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.

It isn`t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.

Litigation takes the place of sex at middle age.

Litigation takes the place of sex at middle age.

Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be...

Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be...

It never dawned on me to be born I just awoke to the fact one...

It never dawned on me to be born I just awoke to the fact one...