I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money.

Quote by Bob Hope

Topics: Funny Quotes

Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.

Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.

At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to...

At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to...

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the...

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the...

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for...

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for...

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance -waiting for the...

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance -waiting for the...

I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.

I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.

I have to much money invested in sweaters.

I have to much money invested in sweaters.

I thought 'Deep Throat' was a movie about a giraffe.

I thought 'Deep Throat' was a movie about a giraffe.

They'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood.

They'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood.

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart...

If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart...

I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.

I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's...

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's...

When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things -...

When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things -...

Your ignorance cramps my conversation

Your ignorance cramps my conversation

I love to go to Washington -- if only to be near my money.

I love to go to Washington -- if only to be near my money.

Enthusiasm is the greatest asset in the world. It beats money, power and influence.

Enthusiasm is the greatest asset in the world. It beats money, power and influence.

I want to thank my parents for letting me play baseball. I'm thankful I had...

I want to thank my parents for letting me play baseball. I'm thankful I had...